i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
