What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
