problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
