You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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