I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
