I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
