My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
worst night to have a conscience
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
