So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
being pregnant is like rehab
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
