I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
