just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
