what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
