He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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