he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
