trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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