i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
