But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
