Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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