thus making me awesome and them whores
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
