I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize