have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
