don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
