Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
