Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
