there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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