I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude i'm inner monologue high
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
