So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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