babies were throwing up all over the place
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
