Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
