addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
