Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
