I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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