I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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