i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
