went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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