going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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