Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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