i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
