well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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