they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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