CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize