Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
