Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize