just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
