No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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