Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
