Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Randomize