North Korea, Best Korea!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
