I wannas sexs uuuuu
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
