He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize