Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
