I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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