Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
