I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
