smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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