Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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