I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
