another moral hangover. fuck.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
