I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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