I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
