I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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