put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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