I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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