i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
