I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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