Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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