We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
