He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Randomize
